Of Christmas and New Traditions

Christmas time is one of those times of the year that I feel most conflicted, mostly sad but also, I look around and there are so many reasons to smile; from the trees all over, to people dressed up as Santa, children singing carols and just having fun with the season. It’s a heavy time for me because I lost my mom around this time of the year, between Christmas and New Year. My mom loved Christmas, she would have us decorating the house the last week of November or the first week of December and I just remember how much fun it was looking for the boxes with all the decorations and getting some new ones, fiddling with them as we tried to get them untied, then putting them up and just how much it changed the whole look of our house. I have some good memories of those times.

After my mum passed, I don’t remember us ever really speaking about it but we just never decorated the house for Christmas ever again. And even after I left home and started working in a new country, that like everywhere else in the world, decorates and has signs of Christmas all over, I still could never bring myself to decorate any place I lived, it was just too hard. So, that stretch between Christmas and new year became just another time to drink myself to a stupor out with other people at parties or just at home, and send Merry Christmas messages without really taking time to pause on the reason for the season. It was also a time when I would be overwhelmed with loneliness and missing my mum so much and getting mad at God all over again.  I would find myself crying so much….. I remember one time I was so drunk and alone at Christmas and I called my aunt. For real, I can’t remember what I said but it was a good 30-minute convo which was a lot of me crying, to the extent she called me back the next day just to check on how I was doing because she was so worried about me. I was mildly embarrassed at the time but I am glad she was so understanding.

In light of this, two weeks ago, I was talking to a dear friend, Ms. Amelia, and she was telling me about her family coming to visit and putting up a tree and other decorations and she asked me if I had put up my tree yet and I told her a little bit of the above and how hard it is for me and she said something so simple yet so wise. She said “How about you get one pretty ornament, in honor of your mum, and put it on the table? Nothing fancy, nothing much, just one little thing that will act as your celebration of the season but also honor her memory?” And I said I would think about it. Couple of days later, I had to run a quick errand for school at a local household goods store and I saw some pretty ornaments but I told myself, I am in a rush, I will come back later so I can find the perfect piece.

I think, no, I KNOW, God knows me and He knew I probably would procrastinate and not do it! LOL! And thus, on the last day of school, a couple with a dear place in my heart, gave me a small wonderfully wrapped box with a card and because I am me, I did not wait until the end of the day to open it, I opened it right then and there and in it was a beautiful heart shaped Christmas ornament. They didn’t know my story about this time of the year or that I had not decorated in ages. It brought tears to my eyes and I went and told them both how much it meant to me.

And so, on this Christmas of 2021, I have a beautiful heart shaped ornament on my table as a sign that I am ready to start having some new Christmas traditions, in honor of the reason for the season, but also in honor of those who have gone before us who had instilled some beautiful traditions in us. I feel like I am finally ready for this step.

And so my dear friends, cheers to new traditions, cheers to honoring those we love and appreciating them a little more. I would like to wish all my readers a Merry Merry Christmas! May the Lord be born in your hearts and may His blessings continue to overflow in your lives!!