Of Sobriety and Strength: Four Years and Counting

Tomorrow, Saturday, October 21, 2023, marks a significant milestone for me – four years of sobriety. As I celebrate and reflect on this achievement, on this journey I never meant to embark on, I can’t help but share some of the valuable lessons I’ve learned along the way.

1. Sobriety Doesn’t Have a “Look”

For most of us, when we think of addiction, we often imagine disheveled, stinky individuals who can’t even walk or speak coherently. The truth is, addiction wears many faces. From functional, chronic to familial categories of alcoholics, varying from young to old, alcohol is an equal opportunity offender. Removing the assumption of how addiction is supposed to look like and dealing with it for what it is may just be a first step in combating alcoholism.

2. Going Against the Grain

In cultures where drinking is deeply intertwined with social activities, which is most places in the world, choosing sobriety might raise eyebrows or meet resistance. If someone opts not to drink, be kind and understanding. Avoid judgment or second-guessing their decision. It’s essential to realize that heavy drinking is a sign of alcoholism when it jeopardizes physical, mental, and psychological well-being.

3. Sobriety Requires Strength

Quitting alcohol isn’t for the faint of heart. It demands unwavering strength and courage. Don’t let anyone diminish the significance of your journey. They don’t need to understand it, only you do.

4. Uncovering the Roots

Alcohol often masks deeper issues or traumas. To succeed in sobriety, understanding your “why” is crucial. Explore the emotions buried beneath the rationalizations, self-judgment, and shame. Do this with a therapist or a counselor guiding you as it is near impossible to do it alone. Trust me, I tried. Armed with your “why,” you gain resilience when the inevitable temptation comes knocking.

5. Your Sobriety, Your Responsibility

Sobriety is a personal journey. No one can want it for you more than you want it for yourself. Relying on external factors is a precarious path. The number of times that life has happened and threatened to knock me off this path have been numerous. Without my faith and sheer belief that my sobriety is for me and no one else, I doubt I would be marking four years already.  

6. The Power of a Support System

While my journey started with mostly just me and my therapist, I soon realized the importance of a support network. Surrounding yourself with people who understand and hold you accountable is invaluable. You are never alone, even during the loneliest moments. To my tribe, you know yourselves, THANK YOU.

7. Granting Yourself Grace

Sobriety is a process, and some days will be more challenging than others. Extend compassion to yourself, trust the journey, and have faith in your own strength. For a highly self-critical people like me, that is a muscle that needs to developed through intentional practices like meditation and prayer.

8. Accountability as Liberation

Choosing sobriety means taking responsibility for your actions, which can be difficult. However, facing life’s challenges without alcohol as a crutch empowers you. While I still battle to make the hardest decisions, I grow ever more confident that as I make my choices, I can look at myself in the mirror now and be okay with what I see and not cringe in shame because I did something and want to blame it on the alcohol.

9. Financial and Physical Renewal

In sobriety, my financial and physical health underwent a profound transformation. First couple of months, looking at my bank balance mid-month had me wondering if the bank gave me more money by mistake! LOL! I gained control over my finances and received a clean bill of health after years of health issues. Sobriety indeed works wonders.

10. Wendy, meet Wendy

In sobriety, I met the real me – imperfections, scars, and all. Embracing and loving myself has become a cornerstone of this journey.

Remember, sobriety is a lifelong journey with no predefined destination. It’s a path I’ll be on for the foreseeable future, and that’s more than okay. I am worth the fight, every single day. And so are you.

As you continue your own journey, know that you’re not alone. I invite you to share your experiences with me, seek support in your local area, and never underestimate your inner strength. Your story is a testament to your resilience, and you’re even more powerful than you realize.

And maybe as you read this, you have questions for yourself or someone you care about, drop me a comment or message me directly. Or maybe you have a story to share, let me know, I will be happy to be a conduit because you never know who your story might inspire. So cheers to us!